Yes! the title is actually a “Friends Episode” reference. If you didn’t get that right off the bat, you are probably too young to understand what we are able to get into.
If I had a dollar for every time a guy (male) cut me off during a meeting, presentation, or general conversation at work, I would have at least a million dollars, at the least. Going to work in 2021, is not just going to work in 2021 especially if you are a woman. I must admit that here in Jamaica, things are not as bad as the rest of the world, but when things are bad in the work world, it’s terrible.
Here is how it all starts — they sell us this dream; you go to school (University) you work as hard you can to be the best you can so you can get a good job. You do all the above and you get this job, then boom! You are thrown in Lion’s den to compete with ego-driven, sweaty, high-fiving, smack-talking, adrenaline-driven, alpha MAN!! This type of man was somewhere along the way went through a traumatic experience that causes him to be “emotionally unavailable” and treats everyone around him like mere objects that he gets to move around his figurative chess board because certainly, this type of man is not just raised and comes from a “good family”. This is the guy who will always clash with you as he sees you as his competition (not your equal) and will do everything in his power to get you 10 steps behind him.
The One where we talk about Women at Work
At meetings, he comes in late and is under-prepared, and as soon as you get an idea, there he is pouncing on you and expounding on your points as if it was a duo effort. In your case (woman), If you challenge him and stand firm in your convictions, you are deemed as “difficult” because you are not expected to have your own opinions and never challenge anyone! Especially a man, that’s certainly not lady-like is it? If you have a voice and decide to speak out on things that are certainly not right, you will be deemed as emotional and in these cases, it will be assumed that you are on your period — oh yes! this happens more than you think.
Going to work in 2021, is not just going to work. There are days when you will feel the urge to maybe take a stapler and staple mouths shut so you can finish speaking without being interrupted. I can’t understand how and why men would think this is ok as when they speak we listen, make notes, and reserve questions for the end of what is being presented or talked about.
How to Handle Difficult Men at Work
I was watching an episode of Mixed-Ish on ABC where Bo’s mom is one of the few partners at a law firm where she battles 2 daily struggles. She is black and a woman — there was a scene where they were in the middle of a partner’s meeting when the older gentleman who happened to not be black, made a racial joke without acknowledging that she was even there. She ends up leaving but not speaking up and when she got home, her family asked her what she said after leaving and she said nothing. I had a problem with this as guys like this often think they are doing the best and it’s just a regular day if you don’t speak up. What she could have done was said something like this
“Hi Bob, I don’t appreciate the jokes you make about race when I’m in the room, I don’t think you should make these jokes whether I’m in the room or not as they are not only rude but offensive and show your true nature. If I was to make the same joke, I would be chastised so I would prefer you not make these jokes”.
I know that was a mouthful, but I think we as women should speak up more in the workplace and these issues we face will become less until they are non-existent. I would recommend you watch a situation like I always do, think with a level and cool head BEFORE speaking out. When we are in the moment, we can be caught up in emotions and say things we will end up regretting.
If you are a woman at work and have experienced any ill-treatment just because you are a woman, comment below. I would love to hear your story and how you deal with things on a daily basis.
#The One where we talk about Women at Work
#The One where we talk about Women at Work
#The One where we talk about Women at Work
#The One where we talk about Women at Work
#The One where we talk about Women at Work
